Lost in the pile of leaves

We spend most of our time and energy in a kind of horizontal thinking. We move along the surface of things, but there are times when we stop. We sit still. We lose ourselves in a pile of leaves or its memory. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.”
— James Carroll

Fall is an emotional time of year.

Walk along a familiar path and it’s transformed by the sight and smell of change.

There is the sweet aroma of fallen leaves in those desperate days between green and brown. Adorned in a hue of orange and red and gold, the trees reluctantly drop and in their nakedness they sadly stare down at the ground.

Drifting in slow-motion, the leaves, one-by-one, cascade to the ground. They gather together, stacked in the unity of their fate, swept by the midnight breezes.

In my yard, I am forever raking the leaves into piles. I ponder the question of what to do. To bag? To recycle? To let the wind blow them away?

My very life is often lost in the pile of leaves.

I was once full of life, green and fluttering in the wind. I soaked up the rains and basked in the sun. I was part of something beautiful and good and alive.  And here I am, a sad reminder of things that were. My only accomplishment is yesterday. My only destiny a dark bag sitting on the curb.

The allegories of the Creator in Spring are abundant — new life, new hope, new direction. But God in the Fall seems distant.

Then I hear a voice in the high winds

“You are not alone. I will never leave you, nor forsake you. You are my beloved. Abide in me and I’ll abide in you.”

And suddenly I am inexplicably driven. An urge comes from the deepest passion of my soul. I see the pile of leaves and with four quick steps I leap into the air, all my good sense abandoned. 

I am lost to the Savior.

And on this day, I am found.

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About David Rupert

Newsletter Editor for the High Calling Find me over at http://www.RedLetterBelievers.com
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5 Responses to Lost in the pile of leaves

  1. Glynn says:

    Fall is that season between riotous life and barren cold otherness. And it's like God's reminder of His provision (harvest). Good post.

  2. Anne L.B. says:

    Autumn is a glorious season of completion. It is harvesting seeds sown long ago.From my blog post last Friday:"The new life of spring brings hope after barren winter. After the grimy toil of summer, autumn is hope realized."May this be your season of hope realized.

  3. Amen to that. Thank you sharing your journey with me that are sometimes best captured in snapshots. To quote a song I am listening to right now, "Take my life and let it be" oh spirit.

  4. Wade R. says:

    Fall is my favorite season for many reasons, colors, fishing, and so on, but most of all because it prepares me for Winter. Each year I have a memory of Fall to carry me through the blizzard. Each year I have the 'practice' of Fall to prepare for Winter, to learn to harvest and appreciate. Seasons remind me that no matter what my 'great' thoughts (with little action) may be, God is still there, reassuring, waiting, letting me go as long as I want until I turn to Him. I need God most during Winter and Fall reminds of that.

  5. Fall is my favorite season! With sweaters and indoor heating, it isn't a dark or dead time of year anymore. (At least not in south Texas.)In fact, it is a time when we slow down. Less light means a slower schedule. Holiday season means an easier pace at work–even a lighter atmosphere between coworkers.

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