Mid-life careers — the best is yet to come

“This breakfast is depressing,” I thought.

A number of my friends and I were recently talking. Most of them unemployed. They’ve been for many months. A few have been searching for more than a year.

The talk was about fruitless interviews, endless applications and useless job fairs. There is pain — and failure — in their eyes.

They’re all my age, stuck in the middle of life, feeling a little lost. Their career path is irrelevant in the modern economy. Their training is out of date. their experience worthless. They look at their hands that turned nuts and laid tile and built computer components and they wonder what’s next.

A change in the economy, a turn in legislation or a restructuring and it could be me, looking at my own hands.

Billy Coffey’s main character in Snowday reflects on his own mid-life.

“I’m just a man. Not too bright and not too stupid, not too rich and not too poor, not too happy and not too sad. A middle-of-the-road, ordinary man. That was me. Nice to meet you.”

A lot of us guys — and girls — can relate. We all had big dreams at some point in our life. We all wanted to change the world — find a cure, feed the hungry, start a successful business. But through a series of events, we are where we are.


How in the world did I get here?

Coffey says

“There are two things every decent person possessed in his or her life. One is a set of lofty goals that rise just out of reach and the other is a desire to do something good for the world.”

Photo by Lisa

My life is pretty darn good right now, and the good news is that the best is still to come. God, give me goals and help me make a difference.

By His grace, these hands, this mind, this body can still be of use.

How about you? Comments here.

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All we really need is an audience of … One

The modern writer’s world is a complex formula.  Read books, go to seminars, listen to agents and literary experts and you’ll hear all about “platform.” You see, you’ll never get a book deal unless you have an audience – a group of people who presumably cling to your every word and purchase your work. There are lots of writers out there building up Facebook and Twitter audiences, networking like a virtual cocktail party.


We are all scared that no one cares.

Whether you’re a painter, a preacher, a blogger, a sculpter or an inventor, we’re all joined at the hip as we dive into the mysterious waters of notoriety.  Secretly, we  hope for the synergy and massive audience that will put our work in demand. But the truth is that most of us will never achieve any kind of critical mass. We’ll just plod on in anonymity. Am I fine with that? 

I interact with many writers at all skill levels. As in any art, the talent runs the gamat. There are some skilled craftsman who have the ability to tap into our minds and hearts with their words. They have a message that needs to be heard.

And there are others who are just writing because they have a desire to say something. Their skill is not exceptional, but they have heart and desire.  It does their soul good and there’s a place for that. 

Few writers will ever see their name in print. My advice to them? Just write. It doesn’t matter if you are never discovered, never published, and never lauded in magazines. It doesn’t matter as long as you are writing to the right audience. And that audience might be limited to your friends or family. That audience might just be you. Or it might be God.

Let’s be honest. The artist lives for the applause. The painter wants people to tilt their head and ooh and awe over the lines and the shadows. The writer wants to engage readers in emotion and response. The singer looks for the roar of emotion at the end of the song.

All of these things feed the ego, which does serve a purpose. It’s the ego that keeps us going, that motivates and moves us. It gives us confidence. We want to make a difference and we will never know unless we hear something, anything.  Am I any good at this? Am I effective? 

Photo by Karenee Art, by permission

I wonder if we should just chuck the whole ‘social engagement’ thing. Wouldn’t it be easier just to have an audience of One?

If I write for the admiration of the reader, then I will be motivated to tickle their ears and win their admiration. But if write for Him, then I’ll be free in my spirit.

If I write strictly for the hoi polloi, then I’ll be possessed with likeability, friends and popularity.

But if I write for Him, I’ll listen, learn and put words to the song in my heart.  

“If no one else listens, that’s fine,” I say in my low-keyed-holy-sounding voice.  But, is it possible? Can I be freed of the shackles of praise, the false premise of cyber- friends, the laudatory words of strangers? Can I just write because the words ring true in my heart, breathed by His Spirit, and spoken by a broken man? 

While I want people to read me and I always am flattered and honored with words of praise, I hope that when it all boils down to it, I’m writing for the right reason.  That gives me boldness. That gives me confidence.

Is it possible to write, or dance, or work, or sing, or labor, or preach for an audience of One? Or do you need something more? What do you honestly think?


For more posts on the call to boldness and confidence, please visit Bonnie Gray’s Faith Barista.

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Is there an "app" for life?

Linguists have tapped “App” as the word of the year.

If you own a smart phone, you already know that “app” stands for “application.”

Sold as an add-ons for cell phones, apps serve as shortcuts to all kinds of things you never knew you needed. You can point your phone at the heavens and it will tell what star cluster you are viewing. You can have your phone listen to the radio and it will tell you what the name of the song is. You can take your blood pressure and upload it to your doctor. You can take a picture of a page of foreign-language text and it will translate it. 

There are thousands of apps — and more on the way.

Indeed, we will have more toys and applications that we can ever imagine in the future. Stroll through the Computer Electronics Show in Vegas or browse through a tech magazine and your eyes will fill with wonder. 

What we don’t have is an app for life.

In a relationship that needs mending, wouldn’t it be nice to download a fix? Instant agreement!

Photo by Faith

If the money is a little short this month, an app could repair that too. Cash in the wallet!

If the boss at work was unbearable, an app could make things better. The corner office is suddenly happy!

If your wife or husband is unreasonable, there should be an app for that too. Harmony at the snap of the fingers!

But the truth is that no tech-guru can touch the problems of our soul.

  

I wish I could offer a download to repair all of life’s problems. I would be rich and you would be happy. But the only application I can find is this principle, laid out many millenia before the ‘tech-age’:  “Trust in the Lord with whole heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlege him and he will make your paths straight.” Pr. 3.5-6

Download that!  Care to comment?

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The status quo has got to go

This time of year, most of us have a few goals in mind. And why not? There’s no time like now to reassess our financial, career, family and spiritual direction.

I have a few myself. I’ve written them down with some steps to get to each of them. There’s much to be said for having some structure to help catapult me toward a destination.

Bradley Moore at Shrinking the Camel wrote a challenging post calling “Are you planning to grow?”  He challenges the assumption of achievement and encourages us to focus on growth instead.

“Growth is more of a lifelong process, a journey,” he reasons.  Especially when “Compared to the relative ease of checking off a short-term result.”

He asks, “Are your goals generating a richer meaning in your life?”

He has some great suggestions like

• Do something that terrifies you
•  Put yourself in a situation where you are over your head
•  Try something you’ve never done before

What’s the most challenging goal you have this year? Comment here.

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Blood.Sweat.Tears. Isn’t there an easier way to do this?

Image by usag.yongsan via Flickr

Blood. 

Sweat. 

Tears. 

I really wish I could say it would be easier, but losing weight, deepening my spiritual walk and improving my relationships are all going to require some sacrifice. 

And as my doctor said during my “procedure,” — “You might feel a little pressure.” 

That’s the nature of discipline. It hurts for a while, but the long-term benefits outweigh the temporal discomfort. (Still I ask, “Can’t I just buy an app for this stuff?”)

Larry Hehn’s delightful blog, Christians in the Rough, is a continuous dose of good medicine, but it doesn’t always go down easily. In a recent post, Larry acknowledges the struggle to live a better, more disciplined life by comparing it to a certain brand of effective, but wretched-tasting brand of cough medicine, Buckley’s Mixture.

The company was honest in the advertising. “It tastes awful. And it’s worth it.”

“We’ve all made some worthy resolutions over the years,” Hehn said in his post. “But how often have we backed away from reaching them once we get a taste of the discipline it takes to get there?”

Three years ago I worked hard to turn my life around physically, spiritually and in my relationships. I lost 30 pounds of fat and gained 20 pounds of muscle. But over the last few months that physique has … slipped. It wasn’t long ago that I studied and taught with fiery passion. Today, I just barely limp by in my faith. I used to be surrounded by friends who would encourage me and I could learn from. But by my brokenness, I lost my way.


Do I want change? You bet. But the reality is that none of this is going to be easy.


How about you? What’s the toughest thing you are planning on doing this year? Comment here.

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I have no idea

Love.  I guess I have always known about it. 

Cradled in my mothers arms, she whispered it to me. And I sensed it as I was consoled by my father, telling me that the bully’s words didn’t matter. I heard it when Nana reminded me I was important to her.

And it might have pricked a tiny hole in heart as I watched Jill ride by on her bicycle and I wondered what it would be like to talk to her.

Four fab singers told me it was all I needed. I found Solomon’s song and read wide-eyed the tawdry, yet sacred account. The minister spoke of phileo, eros and agape. 

But I had no idea. 


I could sense it in others. Watching the couple at the restaurant, laughing and then narrowing their eyes in resolute seriousness. She, throwing her hair back while he watched in wonder. It changed people. It made them happy. And crazy.

Photo by Lisa

I read the words scrawled in trees and watched it play out from the stage and big screen. It was a simple note on the old piano and a raging symphony all at once. 

In school I read about it, the stuff of poetry and sonnets. Lovers in dangerous times, heroes acted heroically. Heroines swooned. 

But I had no idea. 

Eventually, I would fight for love, kicking at the darkness until it bled daylight*. Leapfrogging suitors, splashing cologne on my tender skin and wooing the maiden. And when I found it, I swore I’d never lose it. 

I smelled the fragrant skin. I touched the hair and watched the smile. A kiss. And then another.  

I waited at the end of the aisle, heard the promise. Holding hands in solemn unity untill death’s parting.  

But I had no idea.  

It’s a sacred thing, not to be tossed around carelessly. Still people use it to shower affection on their cats. And their cars. And their flannel sheets. And worse, fleshly pursuits with no heart twists the word beyond recognition. 

Webster-defined it’s so constrained. Four letters. One syllable. Yet, eternity thunders. 

I had no idea, until I found the Author of the word, and I’m learning …

How wide

and long

and high

and deep

Surpassing knowledge.

And I still have no idea.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Eph 3

Feel free to add your own thoughts here.

We are participating in Bonnie Gray’s Faith Jam today, “What’s the One Word that will define your year?” 
* Tip of the hat to Bruce Cockburn, “Lovers in a Dangerous Time“
Also inspiration credit to Chad Bruegmanof Red Rocks Church

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"Somebody oughta"

I’m a regular reader of “Live with Flair,” the creative outlet for educator and communicator Heather Goodman.

She’s a great writer and has sharp instincts into the world around her.

I really liked her most recent post, “Make Yourself That Somebody.”

She caught herself complaining about a safety issue on a public sidewalk. When she said out loud, “Somebody should really fix it..”, she began to question just who “somebody” is!

And she concludes that we are that “somebody.”

I find myself using the same expression.

Somebody ought to clean the spill in the breakroom
Somebody ought to sign up to serve nursery duty
Somebody ought to clean up the widow’s yard down the street
Somebody ought to share a good word with that woman who has so many problems
Somebody ought to step up

Read her blog here, and I’m wondering, what kinds of things have you been waiting for somebody to do, and all along, it should be you?

Comment here.

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Eat your okra: Reflections on a year gone by

My mother used to put okra in the stew. And I hated it. It was slimy and green — two things that most little boys avoid with every fiber of their being. And never should those two ingredients be presented as food.  No way was I going to buy it. To a ten-year old, okra isn’t food.

I could eat the other parts of the stew, but leaving the okra until the bottom of the bowl only meant that I would have to take several spoons of the mushy vegetable all at once. The dog wasn’t to be fooled and neither was mom. It had to go down the hatch. So I ate the stew in whole – meat, potatoes, carrots, broth and okra. And it actually tasted pretty decent.


Photo D Rupert

This year is ending on a high note with great expectations. My hopes and dreams are coming true. But I’ll admit, there has been some okra thrown in throughout the year. I’ve sinned. I’ve said things I wish I could take back. I’ve had circumstances and death come my way. I could try to pull out the bad, to make them disappear. I could try to wrap them in a napkin and throw them in the trash. But the best thing I can do is eat the whole stew. And you know what? Despite the world’s attempt to make it bad, this stew is actually pretty good.

There is a tendency to want to start over again, but the reality is that we live in reality. There is no fantasy-land, no Eden of innocence. Even the redemption story saves the person where he is — not where he wishes he were.

I was intrigued by what Cindy Waldrop wrote. As she cleaning her home, the swirling cloud of dirt from her efforts set off a time of reflection, the dust of her own life agitated in memory. She said that she was “tired of her own story.” And that story is one of failure, of loss, of rejection. “All of these things that constrict my air, that feel binding, that are dragging behind me like chains…I know this story well.”

And in her frustration she just wants to have a complete fresh start, to level the whole thing to the ground. “The world grows this way in hearts, doesn’t it?”

Then the dust settles.

And the empty pot awaits, ready for a fresh batch.

Are you ready for a new year? What will be in your pot? Do you like okra? Other comments?

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Top High Calling blog posts of the year

The Top Blog Posts of the year, as selected by The High Calling

Running in place, by Jennifer Dukes Lee of Getting Down With Jesus

Failure is an Option, by Jessica of Jezamama

Seeing God, by Deidra Riggs of Jumping Tandem

God talk in the Office,  by Michelle DeRusha of Nebraska Graceful

Organizations and Bad Bosses, by Glynn Young of Faith, Fiction, and Friends

Into the World, by Billy Coffey

Becoming Men, by Lyla Lindquist of A Different Story

Can Death be Holy?, by David Rupert of Red Letter Believers

Poetry Goes Geek, by Maureen of Writing Without Paper
Why Don’t We Pray for Business? by Mark D. Roberts of Beliefnet.com

What We Inherit from Eden, by Ann Voskamp of A Holy Experience

Just the Roots, Exposed Clean, by Deb of Forsaken for Lent

Beginning, by Kelly Sauer of High Calling Focus
Love at work,  by Graham Seel of Faith@Work

Honored, humbled and blessed….

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You take the trip, I’ll light the sky

I don’t know about you, but my life really isn’t all that deliberate. In fact, I find that I often come into my best situations just by stumbling into them. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at my blessings and then asked, “how in the world did I get here?”

I have a full-time job as a writer and communicator. The dirty little secret is that I’m really a college drop-out who banged away at the typewriter for free for decades. And now I’m paid to be creative — with benefits.

I have a great position with The High Calling – one that I didn’t even know existed before I was offered it.

I drive a really great 2004 Infinity, owned by a widow with 20,000 miles on it and paid less for it than a comparable Hyundai. 

I had relationships and friends that have changed my life, people that I never sought out. I just found them. Or they found me.

Looking around, I’m so blessed, and I didn’t do anything to deserve any of it.

But I wonder if faith can be approached that same way. Can I just be a good man, trying to the right things and suddenly find myself smack dab in the middle of his will. Dare I say it, can I get lucky with God?

Or do I have to be intentional — seeking Him out?

This week’s lunar eclipse, as well as reading the accounts about the wise men who traveled to see Jesus following only a star has my eyes gazing upon the heavens. “Are you for real God? What am I supposed to be doing? Do I matter?”

I imagine those wise men asked the same questions — as we all do — but they chose to find the answer, rather than wait for it to just show up. They asked and what they got was an answer wrapped inside a puzzle — just follow the star.  It was almost as if God was saying, “You take the trip, I’ll light the sky.”

Paul describes humans as “seekers of God, feeling their way toward him”. The Psalmist says that God actually “conceals things. But the glory of kings is to search things out.”

I might know about Jesus, just by stumbling in. But to actually know Jesus, I must seek him out.

A.W. Tozer said that “God is never found accidentally.”


That’s why the bolt of lightening doesn’t come often.
That’s why I don’t see signs and wonders on a daily basis.
That’s why I don’t have insight into the great mysteries.

Because I’m not looking.

“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jer. 29:13).

Care to comment?

Honored to join in Faith Barista’s “Unwrapping Jesus“

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